Living in the Lies of a Narcissist By HKG 1/28/19

Have you ever found yourself caught in the tangled destructive web of a toxic person? You couldn’t possibly see it coming, because generally a Narcissist is incredibly skilled at masking the truth behind their sweet words that are, in reality, laced with lies and deceit.  At first, everything seems to be beyond your wildest dreams, more than you ever expected, more than you maybe even thought you deserved. You feel like you are in heaven.

But than….. it starts to happen….

They weave their web slowly and painstakingly around you without you ever realizing what is taking place.  Oh, you try and push back, at least at first. But some how, some way, every battle becomes twisted and turned around. When it’s over, you find yourself questioning what you did, second guessing your role in whatever disagreement, conflict or unhappy moment occurred. Suddenly, it is you that is the one who did not try enough, did not support enough, did not come close to loving enough. It is you who is not worthy of their love, and you start to question if you ever will be.

Their sole goal is to make you doubt yourself, so they take every opportunity to belittle you, degrade you, and make you feel inferior. In doing this, they strive to build a pedestal to put themself on so that you suddenly find yourself feeling grateful for every kind word or loving moment you have together. But those moments are all a facade hiding the reality that a toxic narcassistic person never wants you to realize. The reality is that they truly only love themselves and that your role in their life is simply to always make them feel good about who they are while they slowly take everything you have to give. And somehow, they do all of it in the name of love.

They slowly pull you away from your family and your friends because they know that they cannot hide the truth of what is happening from prying loving eyes.  They know that they cannot keep their lies straight or the mask in place for more than small windows of time.  Even if you want to resist this separation, eventually the stress of trying to make things appear ok along with continuing to keep peace with the Narcissist, it simply becomes easier to let them win. Somehow, they make you believe that everything they do is for you.

And than, if you are lucky, something happens, something changes, and your eyes are opened. You begin to see things as they really are, instead of how they were twisted to be.  And if you are smart, in that moment, you choose to walk away, without looking back, even if it is painful.

Over time, you suddenly find some clarity…your eyes open for what feels like the first time…and you breathe a sigh of relief because you realize that you are finally free.

© Heather Graham and HKGRAHAM 2019 Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Heather Graham and HKGRAHAM with appropriate and specific direction to the original content