First and foremost, the grammatical error in the title is on purpose for a reason. That being said….here goes…
While traveling home from a fabulous winter getaway in North Carolina with my fiancé, I heard the tail end of a song that I had never heard before. I mistakenly thought that part of the chorus was ‘love don’t hurt’.
The song ended without me realizing I heard it wrong, and I started thinking about the statement…as grammatically incorrect as I knew it was….and reflecting…..
You see, I have been there…and now, officially, all three of my babies have been there….where it does …where love DOES hurt. And it sucks…there is no other way to view it. When someone has so little respect for you that they are perfectly willing to lie, to deceive, to hurt you and have no remorse…it hurts, even if you don’t really care any more…even if, fundamentally you want out more than you could possibly say.
I watched my oldest son go through it with his ”first love”, way back in high school, when he thought it was forever. And as a mom, it hurt me too. But now, this year, we will watch him say “I do” to the love of his life…a moment that would have never happened if at one time in his life love didn’t hurt.
I watched my only daughter, time and time again, give her heart to boys that never deserved her . ..I held her in my arms countless times when those same boys broke her precious heart. As a mom, it destroyed me, because I knew, even when she didn’t, that she deserved so much more. But than I was blessed to watch love blossom for her, thanks to a loving, patient heart….thanks to a real man, who earned her trust and love slowly….a man who patiently waited while she learned that ‘love don’t hurt’
Most recently, I watched my youngest son learn that things are not always what they seem ..that you can be honest and true, you can be a good person that does the right thing, always, and still, the rug can be ripped out from under you by something no one would have ever expected…and you suddenly realize that people lie, people cheat, people become what others might have seen, but you never saw coming. But still, in the end, I have seen him grow and become his own person without a significant other making him who he is…an adult, in his own right…ready to take on the world and live his life to the fullest… never willing to settle for someone who takes without giving or rips him away from his family who has always been his heart and his support.
And at the end of the day. ..it takes me back to a time when I was scared, when I felt alone, when the only love I knew hurt. When it hurt me. .. when it hurt my babies….when I thought that the only love I knew would kill me… when I was convinced there really was no way out.
But time changes things…and the clock keeps ticking. And if you are lucky….if you are truly lucky…and the stars align… you finally realize ‘ love don’t hurt’
Love should never hurt..love should build you up and make you a better person. Love don’t hurt…love completes you.
Grateful that I am finally….after all these years….complete ❤️
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