My heart hurts tonight…..
I have always heard ‘ find something you love to do and you will never work a day in your life.’
Sounds great… In fact it sounds amazing…in theory.. and it was for awhile…until they change the rules when it comes to something you love and have devoted years of your life to…and suddenly you’re earning a fraction of what you used to earn working just as hard or harder doing what you love….
You find something your heart is so invested in…. something you believe in…. something that truly matters… something that can really make a difference in other people’s lives who deserve so much… something that truly makes you want to get up and set the world on fire with….
But….the time invested by necessity and the income earned doesn’t equal out to anything you could ever live on….
And what you do on a regular basis fundamentally isn’t even appreciated….
And you wonder…. were they wrong? Was I wrong to believe in what they said? At this point in my (not so young) life do I really have to find a new way? Are the things that matter to my heart not really that important in the end?
Because at the end of the day…there is still the mortgage…and the other bills…and I have to figure out a way to get a car soon…and ya. .I’m almost 48 …and my heart hurts… because somehow …by now…it seems like with all I’ve been through….life should be just a little bit easier.
But I will never quit… because that has never been who I am…so at some point perhaps I will figure out who I was really meant to be.
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