❤️ Resolve ❤️ by HKG 1/4/23

I’ve never been one to make conscious New Year’s resolutions. It’s not that I don’t think they are a good idea, I simply think that for me it always felt like it would cause me to put more pressure on myself than I already do on a regular basis. Do more, be more, achieve more ….it was simply “more” than my already over critical <of myself> brain could handle.

I think for many females, we feel like we must put everyone and everything in our lives before ourselves. We don’t want to let anyone down or disappoint anyone – particularly those we love the most. Layer on top of that; if you are like me; having survived many painful years of being told you weren’t and never will be ‘enough’ in any way….. and New Year’s resolutions become yet another burden; but one you choose to place on your already overburdened shoulders.

For me, personally, all of this has resulted in self-guilt if I choose to focus on myself rather than others. I feel bad if I take time for me rather than ‘doing’ for someone else, if I relax instead of “do”, if when I say “yes” to me and what I want it means I say “no” to what someone else wants from me.

It seems to suddenly make sense why my mind would scoff at the thought of a New Year’s resolution.

You never know when you will have a shift in your thinking…when suddenly you feel like your entire focus has changed, when everything you allowed yourself to believe about yourself and what you’re ‘supposed ‘ to do comes full circle and you wonder ‘Why? Why did I believe all of that for so long?’

Self-care and self-love are not wrong. It is healthy and important and relevant. I am sure that for many readers this is common sense but bear with me because for some of us it simply is not and never was.

So now, at the beginning of a brand new year I am not making a ‘resolution ‘ but I do resolve …..to put myself first….for the first time in a very long time….not because I no longer want to do for others, but because I now realize that by putting myself first, by taking care of myself, and by choosing me, I will ultimately be better equipped to be better for, and to care more for, those in my life that mean the most to me and those that have shown they truly care about me too. I resolve to let go of my need to be accepted and loved so deeply by people who never have and likely never will that I put that above accepting and loving myself.

Self-care is not selfish. You must fill your own cup before you can pour into others.

2023 is a new book ….with 12 new chapters to fill ….and I am choosing to fill mine with a year full of moments that fulfill me and bring me closer to my dreams ❤️

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